Mrs. Philbert is teaching her class about multiple-syllable words. Little Johnny is in the back of the classroom, bored as usual.
“Now words like bike, cheese and shoe only have one syllable. Does anyone have an example of a word with 2 or more syllables?”
Little Johnny raises a hand and is called on. He stands up and says “Autoeroticism.”
That’s a word with more than one syllable.” Impressed, the teacher repeats the word, “Autoeroticism! Wow Johnny! That’s a mouthful!”
Johnny rises quickly from his chair and says, “No. Autoeroticism is masturbating. What you’re thinking of is a blowjob!”

***

A guy with a 25-inch penis went to a doctor and said, “I can’t live with this anymore! It’s too long.”
The doctor replied, “I can’t do anything for you, but if you see the witch doctor in the bayou, she can help you.”
So, he went to the bayou and saw the witch doctor. The witch doctor said, “Go into the swamp and find a female frog. Ask her to marry you. She’ll say “No”, and you’ll lose 5 inches off your member!”
So, he went back to the swamp and found the frog and asked her, “Will you marry me?”
“No!”, she said.
He lost 5 inches off his member!
The guy liked the results, and thought, 20 inches is just too much. So he asked the frog again, “Will you marry me?”
The frog said, “No!”
And the guy lost another 5 inches. He thought, God, 15 inches is great! But 10 inches would just be perfect.
So he asked once more, “Will you marry me?”
And the frog said, “How many time do I have to tell you . . . NO! NO! NO!”

***

A married couple was on holiday in the Middle East and they came upon the main city bazaar. They walked around the market place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From inside they heard a gentleman say, “You foreigners? Come in my friends. Come into my humble shop. Salam a leekem!” (hello in english) So the couple walked in.
The bazaar merchant says to them, “I have some special sandals I think you’d be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel.”
After hearing this statement, the wife became intrigued and encouraged her husband to try them on. Her husband smirked and winked at his wife, with the comment, ” I don’t think I really need them.” But since they were having fun in the bazaar, he asked the merchant, “So, how could sandals make you into a sex animal?”
The merchant smiled and replied, “Just try them on, my friend, trust me!”
Well, in the combined spirit of goodwill and after much badgering from his wife, he finally consented to try them on.
The husband put the shoes on and and a wild look seemed to appear in his eyes, something his wife has not seen in many years — the look of raw sexual power.
In a blink of the eye, the husband rushed the merchant, threw him on the table and started tearing at the guys pants.
While trying to run away, the bazaar merchant is yelling non-stop, “You’ve got the shoes on the wrong feet…You’ve got the shoes the wrong feet!!”

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