Three guys are walking down the beach, when they see this beautiful woman laying naked on the beach. The first guy goes over to her and starts making love to her, when she says, “What will we name the child?”
The guy freaks and runs away. So the second guy goes over to her and starts doing his thing when she says, “What will we name the child?”
He freaks out also and runs away. The third guy has been watching all this. So he puts on a condom and goes to do his thing.
when she says, “What will we name the child?”
He ignores her and keeps on going. She keeps asking but he keeps going.
Finally he finishes and pulls off the condom, ties a knot in the end of the rubber and throws it in the ocean. He turns to the girl and says, “If he gets out of that, we’ll call him Houdini.”
***
A guy is walking down the street, and he’s really horny. So he goes to the first whore house he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The guy goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars, he gets kicked out again.
So by this time, he’s really super horny, so he goes to the next one and says “Look, I only have five dollars. I’m really horny, and I need a blow-job for 5 dollars!”
The guy there says, “OK. For five dollars, we can give you a penguin.”
“What’s a penguin?”
“You’ll see!!!”
So, the guy takes the $5 and leads the horny man to a bedroom. The horny man unzips his pants, and waits for his “penguin.”
Soon, a prostitute comes in and starts giving the guy a blow job. Just as he’s about to loose his load, she stops and walks away.
Now, the horny guy with his pants at his ankles, waddles after her, shouting, “HEY! WHAT’S A PENGUIN?!?”
***
A Sailor met a good looking blonde at the bar and was trying to get laid without much success.
“I don’t date servicemen,” she said, “but I am curious as to why you sailors have those two rows of buttons on your pants.”
“Why, that’s because we have two dicks,” the sailor replied.
“Interesting, probably twice as much fun,” replied the blonde, “let’s go to my place and try them out.”
So they did, and after the first screwing the blonde says, “Boy, that was sure nice. Now that I’m rested and still horny, I want the other one.”
Whereupon the sailor undid the other side of buttons, pulled out a limp, weary dick, looked at it and sadly declared, “Well, I’ll be damned! He’s pouting because he wasn’t FIRST!”
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