In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini Skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket.
As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn’t!
So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give little more slack and again was unable to make the step.
About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, screeching at him, “How dare you touch my body!! I don’t even know who you are!”
At this the Texan drawled “Well ma’am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends.”
***
Three men were walking aimlessly in the desert. They came upon a castle. Dying of thirst, they decided to go into the castle.
Inside they found no men, just dozens of beautiful women. The three men decided to stay (obviously, what man wouldn’t). For a week they enjoyed themselves having sex many times a day with all of the beautiful women.
After a week, the king of the castle and his army of men came back. As he walked into his castle, he found the three men with his women. Upset, the king ordered his army to capture the three men and line them up against the wall. Then the king said that each of them would be severely punished according to their occupation.
The king goes up the first man and demands to know his occupation. The first man replies, “Fireman.” The king tells his army, “Burn off his penis.”
Then he walked over to the second man and asked his occupation. Hesitating the man said, “I…I…I…I’m a police officer.” The king ordered, “Shoot off his penis.”
Then finally the King asks the third man his occupation. With a huge smile on his face the man replied, “Lollipop salesman.”
***
The Yuppie was accosted by a hooker. She said, ‘How ’bout some relaxing oral sex honey… only $50… you look all uptight.’
‘No way!’ The man responded. ‘I’m married!!!’
‘So???’ Queried the hooker.
‘My wife will do it for $35.’ He replied.
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