A beautiful young girl wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl says in a sexy voice, “Oh Santa, please stay.”
Santa replies, “HO HO HO! Gotta go! Gotta go! Gotta get the presents to the children, you know.”
The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, “Oh Santa, please stay.”
Santa replies, “HO HO HO! Gotta go! Gotta go! Gotta get the presents to the children, you know.”
Santa begins to sweat.
The girl takes off her bra and says, “Oh Santa… Please… Stay.”
Santa replies, “HO HO HO! Gotta go! Gotta go! Gotta get the presents to the children, you know.”
Santa wipes his brow.
She loses the panties and says, “Oh Santa… Please… Stay…..”
Santa, with sweat pouring off his brow says, “HEY HEY HEY! Gotta stay! Gotta stay! Can’t get up the chimney with my pecker this way!”
***
Santa’s Pick-Up Lines:
Hey Babe, when was the last time you had a really good sleigh?
Care to see my twelve inch elf?
I’ve got something special in the sack just for you!
Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
I know when you’ve been bad or good so let’s skip the small talk, sister!
Some of my favorite toys run on batteries….
Interested in seeing the North Pole? (Well, that’s what Mrs. Claus calls it…)
I see you when you’re sleeping and you don’t wear any underwear, do you?
Screw the “nice” list. I’ve got you on my “nice AND naughty” list!
Ho-Ho-How’d you like to shake like a bowl of jelly?
I put the ’scroo’ in ’scrooge!
I’ve got something you can hang a wreath on!
One hour with me honey and you’ll see flyin’ reindeer!
That is NO candy cane in my pocket, and I’m glad to see you.
Uh-yeah, that’s right. I’m Kenny Rogers.
I got your stocking stuffer right here!
Giddy-up over here and say ‘Howdy’ to your fat, bearded cowboy of love!
***
Santa: “So little girl, what would you like for Christmas?”
Girl: “I want a Barbie Doll and a G.I. Joe.”
Santa: “Doesn’t Barbie always come with Ken?”
Girl: No, she only fakes it with Ken.”
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