Annie works in a supermarket as a cashier. She likes her job because she likes to be in contact with the customers and the pay is all right. It is not the best job in the world, but it pays the bills and she has a lot. She just has some problems with the manager. He always looks and acts out to get into every girl’s panties. He was handsome though and she was into older men, but he wouldn’t like the kind of sex she was into. She liked it rough and with lots of corporal punishment. When she would tell that to her boyfriends they would back off immediately. The last time she had really good sex was when she was eighteen, four years ago. Her father gave her corporal punishment when she was a younger girl and she fucked up. She loved that, but he stopped it when she grew older. That day she had called her mother a fucking cuntwhore. He got out his belt and striped her ass until it was all bruised up. She went to her room immediately after that and stuck a dildo in her cunt and came.

Mika Tan and Mark Davis, bondage pics and movies

She couldn’t sit properly for days; but since then she lived on her own; dad broke off the contact and she pretty much lived in celibacy. Her only joy was watching the shoots at kink, especially the ones with Mark Davis. The manager in the super looked a bit like him so that was allright. The only thing was that he accused her of stealing. She had probably made a few mistakes the other day and two days in a row her cash came up $ 10.00 short. The manager told her that at the next mistake she would be fired. She needs this job really bad. As she is on a coffee break the manager (Mark Davis) takes over and takes $ 5.00 from the cash. At the end of the day he gives her the choice of being fired or spending the evening with him in the store room. There was no doubt in her mind that he was to have sex with her. Maybe not the kind she likes, but it would be sex with a real man after all. At closing time she went to the bathroom as he had ordered. He had given her a package with clothes she needed to wear on their night out.

She could hear all her colleagues leaving as she opened the package. Out came a very sexy dress in black and red latex. Whatever she did though she couldn’t get it on; it was so tight that it wouldn’t go over her moist skin and all the sweating just made it worse. When the manager came to collect her she asked for some oil. Mark, the manager brought her a bottle of olive oil and she smeared it all over her body. After that the dress would go on but was way too small for her luscious tits. As she came out of the bathroom he put a collar around her neck with a leash and took her to the store room.

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Jewel (Jade Marxxx) works as a receptionist in a big car sale company. Her boss has told her several times that she has to buy some new wardrobe. It is important that she lures the customers in so she has to look sexy. Jewel has no problem with that because she likes to wear sexy outfits; it is just that she cannot afford them at this moment. She has been out of a job for 6 months and before that she was in and out jobs that didn’t pay well. This was her big breakthrough; she asked for an advanced payment on her salary but was nearly thrown out. Her boss frightened her and she was very nervous every time she went to see him. He could be very degrading to her and when he raised his voice, you did know immediately he meant business. At the same time he made her very nervous because she was attracted to him. He was older than her but still good looking and she liked firm and powerful men. Anyway it was important that she got hold of new clothes soon or she would loose this job. Luckily one of her friends lent her a few silk blouses and some black skirts.

Jade Marxxx and Mark Davis, free bdsm movies

The skirts were a bit short; when she wore them with her new silk white nylons that had a beautiful broidery rim she looked smashing; very sexy but still appropriate. The problem with those blouses was that you could see slightly through. It showed some of her bra that actually looked anything but sexy. The worst thing was that she saw beautiful lingerie every day. When she walked to the bus she would pass this great gorgeous white villa. In the backyard was a washing line that had the most beautiful and sexy outfits hanging there every day. Some just to dry after being washed; some - she suspected - just to get some fresh air. There were lingerie sets and corsets; sexy bodies in lace, leather and latex; stunning long black and red evening dresses in latex; Jewel would get horny if she just watched them. “If I would only have something like that”, she thought every day.

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One day Tim decides to visit his old friend Joe who has been married to this beautiful model now for a couple of years. When he gets there he realizes that there is a long line of men standing outside Joe’s door.
After a few inquires he learnes that Joe’s wife is having sex with these men.
Confused, Tim goes in to talk to his friend Joe. He asks Joe, “Man, why don’t you just divorce this unfaithful wife of yours?”
Joe says, “Are you out of your mind! You want me to divorce her and go stand at the end of the line?”

***

A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate.
He walked up to the driver’s window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, “Yes, officer?”
“What are you doing?” the policeman asked.
“What does it look like?” answered the young man. “I’m reading a magazine.”
Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, “And what is she doing?”
The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, “What does it look like? She’s knitting.”
“And how old are you?” the officer then asked the young man.
“I’m nineteen,” he replied.
“And how old is she?” asked the officer.
The young man looked at his watch and said, “Well, in about twelve minutes she’ll be eighteen.”

***

A middle aged couple is watching TV when a TV Evangalist comes on and promises to heal the sick.
“If only you would pray with him and place your right hand in the air and place your left hand on the afflicted area.”
So the man places his right hand in the air and his left hand on his crotch and his wife says “Gee honey He said heal the sick, not raise the dead!”

***

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a trolley bed by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre door to go in and check whether everything is ready.
A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the sheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and does the same examinations.
When the third man starts examining her body so closely, she grows impatient and says: “All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?”
The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: “I have no idea. We’re just painting the corridor.”

Carl (Mark Davis) has a very big house. Part of this house is rented out to his son Jim and Jim’s girlfriend Claire (Devaun). Jim thinks that they do have a great relationship, although he would like the sex to be a bit more outstanding. Claire finds the sex really boring, but is to shy to tell Jim about her dirty fantasies. The action starts on an afternoon where Carl and Claire having a glass of wine, while Jim is out of the house.

“Well Claire, how are things. Are you thinking about marrying Jim? I mean you guys are together now for almost a year.” Carl is just trying to make conversation. Claire a bit dizzy from the wine feels that it is about time to be a bit more open on certain aspects. “Well I don’t know. Your son is really a great guy to be with but a bit of a wimp in the bedroom. He could be suggesting some more, let’s say firm ideas.”

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A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman “Give me six double vodkas.”
The barman says “Wow!, you must have had one hell of a day.”
“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender says “Geez! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”.
“Yeah, my wife…”

***

Dear Tech Support:
I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn’t mentioned in the product brochure.
In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Golf 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Sunday Football 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but de-install doesn’t work on this program.
Can you please help!
Joe.

Dear Joe,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding.
Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to de-install, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can.
When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:\ IAPOLOGIZE program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGIZE a number of times, but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal.
Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0.Do not under any circumstances install Secretary (Short Skirt version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.
Best of luck!
Tech Support

Tera Patrick, easily the world’s hottest adult actress. Since 1999 this half-Thai and half-English goddess has been lighting up the small screen in such porn classics as Forbidden Tales, Island Fever #3 and Tera Tera Tera.

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Sunny Leone, whose parents had emigrated from India, grew up in Canada and relocated to Southern California in 1996 with her family. Soon after graduating from high school, the ingenue began modeling, slowly transitioning from mainstream work to nude layouts. Finally opting to have sex in front of the camera, she signed with Vivid Video in ’05 and stars in Sunny, Virtual Vivid Girl Sunny Leone and other hard-core releases.

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The science teacher stood in the front of the class and said, “Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?”
Little Stevie raised his hand and said “I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette.” The teacher nodded, and then she called on little Susie.
Little Susie said, “I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche.” The teacher smiled, and then she called on Little Johnny.
Little Johnny stood up and said, “I would want silicone.” The teacher said, “Silicone? Why silicone, Little Johnny?” “Because my mom has two bags of the stuff and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!”

***

A man says to his wife, “I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?” The wife hastily replies, “No, I might go deaf!” To which the man replies, “I’ve been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you’re still fucking talking aren’t you?”

How did a small-town girl from Canada get into the skin biz? “Well, men have always liked looking at my body,” Shyla remarks, “and I love showing it off. I thought, Why not let everyone see what I have? People have always told me I have a lot of sex appeal. So I flew to Los Angeles and did my first HUSTLER spread. Do you think the readers will like it?” Let’s ask them. Whaddaya think, guys? Shyla is also not shy about discussing her no-holes-barred porn career, which got off to a thunderous start in 2001 with Gangbang Auditions #8. “I took a little break,” the knockout reveals, “but now I’m back shooting films as we speak. I just did a great D.P. scene.” When not seductively stripping down for the camera, Shyla hunkers down on the farm in scenic British Columbia. “I love to read and watch movies at home,” she says. “That doesn’t mean I’m boring. I also love to go bungee-jumping. I’ve done it two times now. All that bouncing up and down gets me wet through my Wranglers. I also like to cook. I’m a master at baking a turkey, and my cheesecakes are to die for.” Before we can ask what fruity toppings adorn her cheesecakes, Shyla exclaims, “Plus, I love to fuck! I’m a very open and dirty girl. I love anything that is erotic and going to take it to the next level. I dig oral, and I love to get banged by a guy in the missionary position while a woman has her pussy in my face.” What does this sweet little missy want to do down the line? “I wouldn’t mind making a living as a musician and a nude model,” Shyla hints. “Maybe I could combine both and be the first naked country star. Like Johnny Cash—only blond and with nice DD boobies!”

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A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. “But how will I let you know the baby is born?” she asked. He replied, “Just send me a postcard and write ’spaghetti’ on the back. I’ll take care of expenses.” Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor’s wife called him at the office and explained, “Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don’t understand what it means.” The doctor said, “Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you.”
Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, “‘Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.’”

***

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home.
“Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he entered the house.
“Darling,” replied the man, “I can’t lie to you. I’ve been having an affair with my secretary and we’ve been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock.”
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!”

Feast your eyes on Nikki Benz, the smoking-hot adult actress seen here displaying her magnificent bod in the studio of custom-bike guru Russell Mitchell. Nikki was tickled pink to drop by and straddle Mitchell’s marvelous creations in all her naked glory. “It turned me on actually,” the 36D knockout gushes. “I love riding on the back of a bike, but have always been too chicken to drive one.” She may be too chicken to ride one, but we’ll settle for her posing on one anyday.
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She’s everyone’s fantasy all-American girl-next-door and HUSTLER Video’s first contract beauty. A superhot 21-year-old, this porn star is as sweet as homemade apple pie and twice as tasty. We don’t know about you, but seeing this American beauty makes us glad we live in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. Thank you, Jessica, and God bless the USA!

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A girl was going on her first date and her grandmother gave her some advice:
“The boy may try to kiss you — it will feel good, but don’t do it. He may try to go up your skirt — but don’t let him. He may try to take your clothes off — but don’t do it. He may try to get on top of you — but don’t do it. If you do any of these things, you’ll disgrace your family.”
The girl said she understood and went on her date.

The girl came home at about 11pm and her grandmother was waiting for her and said, “Well, did you disgrace the family.”
“No,” said the girl, “Instead of letting him do those things to me, I did them to him and now it’s his family that’s disgraced!”

***

There was this hunk at a trade fair, flashing his big muscles and repeating, “Ten tons of dynamite, ten tons of dynamite,” while eyeing the females around.
One young lady was impressed and, with the intention of giving him a try, entered the tent with him. She was out in a moment saying “Huh, ten tons of dynamite, with half an inch of fuse?”

Fans of XXX movies will definitely recognize Jenna Presley, who’s appeared in more than 125 of them. “I love being an adult actress better than my last job as an exotic dancer,” Jenna says. “But being in porn is a hotter gig, and it’s more profitable.” Apparently, having sex on film was a no-brainer for the lifelong Californian. “I was kind of promiscuous in college,” the 20-year-old admits, “and this guy I was with told me he thought I fucked like a porn star. That got me thinking.” And now the green-eyed goddess has us wondering about her off-camera romps. “I like a guy who knows what to do and who loves sex,” Jenna confides. “He has to be totally into oral, both giving and receiving. He also has to be able to try new things and share. I like girls too. When I’m lucky enough to have a threesome in private, I’m in heaven. It’s like a sex buffet where I get to try a little bit of everything!” Keeping up her heavenly appearance also takes a lot of hard work. “I work out every day that I’m not on a set or in a photo studio,” Jenna tells us. “I run, swim, lift weights and sweat my ass off. It’s important to me to stay in shape.” How does Jenna assess her porn career? “I’ve been very lucky because I’ve been able to work steady for the past two years. I hope to keep at it until guys get tired of looking at me naked, and then maybe I’ll get into directing. Or just get married, have kids, change my name and disappear into a suburban lifestyle—but not for a long time to come!”

The “USB pole dancer” is designed to be plugged into any personal computer and comes complete with her own silver pole to dance around, as well as multi-coloured lights and disco music to “recreate an authentic nightclub atmosphere”.
Once she is switched on she goes through a gyrating routine with the help of a pre-installed backing track.
Instructions on the packaging, which has “Girls, Girls, Girls” printed in large lettering, say: “This fun pole dancer is powered directly from the USB port on your PC and will entertain you at any time of the day or night.”
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by dailymail.co.uk